Why Play So Is Important?

When thinking about why play is so important, Maggie Reigh says it best with the following article below or read on her site here

Image may contain: text

Most of us parents have been conditioned to focus on correcting our child’s behavior… which damages our relationship and simply frustrates both of us. Now I’m not saying that you don’t need to set guidelines, parameters and teach your child how to function effectively in all kinds of group settings.  However, your child is most likely to LISTEN to you if they WANT to listen.  It’s like the old saying goes, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  When we really connect with our children, in the spirit of play, they know how much we care.  The only true authority we have with them is that which they give us, based on our connection with them. Connecting with your child will set you up to be the true authority… the natural “go to” not “run from” person in their lives! If you can just realize that connecting with your child is more important than correcting your child, you will create mutual respect and harmony in your relationship.

Play offers the optimum opportunity to connect. Play is also our child’s optimum state of learning. There is a wonderful story in Michael Mendizza and Joseph Chilton Pearce’s book entitled Magical Child Magical Parent, which exemplifies how important it is to get into the stream of play with our children to most effectively educate them. It is a story (which I may have embellished in the retelling!) of a man who decides to teach his child how to kick a soccer ball.

The man’s five-year old son is so excited that Dad is taking the time to play outside with him. But, when the two of them go outside, the child doesn’t want to kick the soccer ball. In a state of pure play, he wants to pounce on the ball, roll with the ball, LICK the ball, but he doesn’t want to kick the ball!  His exasperated father grows increasingly impatient with his son. After all, he brought him outside to teach him how to kick the ball. What will the other soccer moms and dads think if his kid doesn’t learn to kick?

The authors of the book point out that this child starts out this adventure in the spirit of play. One-hundred percent of his attention is flowing into his business of play. He is in his optimum learning state. However, as he senses his dad’s impatience and annoyance, he starts to transfer some of his attention to his dad. After all, this adult means everything to him, and he doesn’t want to make him angry. So now a good portion of his attention is transferred to pleasing Dad. The boy learns to try to kick the soccer ball for his dad.

Being able to get onside with our child and join him in the stream of play is indeed an art. The joy and the value of connecting are priceless. When we can join with our child in this state of optimum learning we can gradually lead him to learn the valuable skills that we have to teach, and then we all gain so much! Few adults had parents who taught us in this manner and most of us feel awkward and inadequate with this concept. The good news is, it’s never too late to learn and, luckily, if you are a parent, grandparent or involved aunt or uncle, you have a willing teacher – your child.

Next time your child is playing, allow yourself to simply become curious about the play consciousness that she is in. Ask her if you can join her and remember to let her lead! Stay open and curious about the process and do everything you can to simply stay in the moment and share her world respectfully. Match her body language and see what you can learn from it. If you hear your inner critique pulling you away from the situation, insisting that there are “more important matters to take care of,” or telling you how silly this is, simply ask yourself if that inner critic is helping you or hurting you in your overall life plan.

If you are experiencing behavior problems with your child, it may just be that your child is crying out for this kind of real connection.  Studies out of the University of Washington indicate that parents that spend 15 minutes a day engaged in this state of play with their child substantially decrease a wide range of behavioral and learning problems.

Don’t think that the only time you can play with your children is when they are young!  As George Bernard Shaw says, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing!” In my Playshops I have seen moms and daughters of all ages connect through play, in ways they hadn’t thought possible.

Here we have an opportunity to suspend our busy and cluttered adult agenda and absorb the free flow state of play that our child naturally experiences if we don’t interfere.  It is a state of being that can be life enhancing for all.

Do yourself and your child a favor for life and resolve to suspend your busy schedule long enough to playfully connect with your child every day. It’s a great way to have fun together , relieve stress and build memories that last a lifetime!

Maggie Reigh offers “Playshops” to bring out your playful self.

Here’s a few suggestions of adding to your playful side with your children throughout your day and gives you an opportunity to increase your physical activity along side your children.


Facing Fear

No what?

Facing Fear…

Wow, what a great topic for parenting.

There is so many things as a parent that we face daily when it comes to fear.

These are some of the questions and thoughts that come to my mind immediately, I am sure that I am not alone it in.

  • Am I doing this right?
  • Will they turn out to be stable adults?
  • Can I provide for all their needs?  This is more than the financial, it’s like mental support and emotional support & beyond
  • I am fit to be a parent, do I have what it takes to be responsible for another life?
  • Can handle myself in all the situations that will arise as their life unfolds?
  • Where’s the instruction manual for this job of being a parent?
  • Will it hurt to nurse my baby?
  • What if they get sick?
  • Will my baby like me and love me?
  • Can I really trust another person to love my child the way I do?
  • What will the world be like for them later in life?

As I am learning along my way I am seeing my way through these thoughts and questions, facing them with confidence and understanding that children choose their parents to help them with their path of learning in this life time they are in.  My children chose me cause I can figure this out and be what they need in life to grow into their full potential.

Though…At times…

I don’t know about you, I can say for me fear is something that can stop me in my tracks causing me to freeze into place and become stationary even stagnant.  This can happen when a trigger is activated and can be a sign of an imbalance from within the spirit, body or mind.  Figuring out which one is a mystery within itself yet completely accessible!  I have found that muscle testing has created a solution depending on the circumstances and given me great insights to what’s happening with me especially when using the information acquired on a five element chart.

Using this technique can be very useful when letting go of triggers and being able to move forward with new associations, even to the point of creating new ones and gaining closure of past experiences.

Fear can be used a motivator and catalyst to one’s personal growth, even a guide line and way to measure growth.

I once hear that FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real which gives validation to fear just being something that our subconscious creates for us and does an auto-fill in the blanks of the unknowns especially when doing something new, like parenting.  There are so many variables that we don’t have previous answers to reference in this new realm of life.

I have found in my experience that when fear does arise it can be a good thing and a way to guide me to best case scenarios as long as my subconscious doesn’t ask for assistance from my imagination faculty ~ there’s a time and a place when this is very serving.  That can be entertaining to a degree but that give my adrenals false alarms, creating that freezing response I mentioned earlier.

With using fear as a guideline and not an inhibitor to taking action in life, it can now be something useful for personal growth and very helpful.

Something that I have learned to do over the years now by facing my fears head on when they arise is to stop and breathe, create a wave of relaxation and identify with what’s going on with myself so I can move forward with positive results.

Here’s a recent situation that I “grew” through… see if this is something you can relate to and may you find it useful in your personal experience.

This is relates greatly to my parenting experience just as much to my work facet of my life…. I love to share what works for me and also learn from others, with what works for them.  The one thing about this, use what works for you and forget about what doesn’t work for you!  Just really that simple when it comes to living with fears and facing them so they dissolve like sand castles in the ocean waves.

Sharing my breakthrough as it happened, as I talked myself through it, thought by thought, question and answers…

  • I hear a voice in my head say what’s the point ?
  • Who are you to give advice ?
  • Who would listen to you ?

And yet I study and read about this mind chatter and how it’s important to get a hold, a solid grip of what streams through your mind and the words one chooses to speak…..
Here I am acting like a victim of my own success !

The time hasn’t halted for no one to my knowledge ….

The time has come to claim your power and gifts to use them for the goodness of others.  I can read and listen to what I’ve created, and man oh man it’s inspiring and motivating !

I can see Why my husband told me I good at talking & that I should go get paid for it !
My voice carries a soothing tone and calmness to it, something I’ve never picked up on till recently.

Comes back the question of what am I afraid of ?

Surpassing and growing out of my comfort zones, being teased or torn apart …. Not making a difference in the lives of others, having no impact for the change, staying in a state of fear
Gosh, now I see that no one matters until you give them permission and now have taken time to reflect on all the lives that I have impacted already!  With these moments I can see where my fears have served me and held me back… now I tell myself that my time has come, now just I am here to write freely and let my gift do the heavy lifting!

This is brilliant and complete …

Procrastination is a death sentence for all your dreams.  You have the power within to take action and make them come true.  Shut off the negative self talk and move into the life of your desires, be the parent that you know you can be !  It’s possible to live with amazing results by taking little steps of daily action for the results accumulate and create compound efforts daily.

I take advantage of every moment of every day, making each moment count.
I just stay in task and live with joy.
I see my accomplishments and celebrate my efforts, no matter how big or small they are!

Growing baby in a loving environment matters!

In conclusion facing fear in my parenting experience has grown me greatly and much learning has happened, still more to take place.  I feel and see the love that my children have for me, for themselves and each other.  For now that what’s most important to me and that’s all that matters.  For love can conquer any fear and get me through any challenge.   May my words bring you peace of mind and encouragement that you can do this and face your fears too!  ~ Much Love & Light Rochelle