This is such a huge topic that parents will come across during their parenting career.
To Spank or not Spank, that is the question…
I will openly confess that I used to think that spanking was okay and totally justified it as being something that had to be done, that I had to “show” my children that I was the “boss”! That they had to obey me and listen to me or else for this is what my vision of a successful parent was. I thought that they were mine to control and they had to respect me or else!
With deep learning and studying from entering into the 9 Ways Program by Maggie Reigh I started to see that maybe I could change my views on the topic of discipline and the whole idea of spanking, as it always felt wrong to me and I would be left feeling guilty and torn apart on the inside… This is such a vulnerable moment putting my self out here in this post…I used to not make posts like this for fear of being judged by others, now I see that it’s time that I share from my own experiences knowing there are other parents that need help and are looking for support in the area of parenting.
Parenting can bring out the best in us and the worst in us, it’s one of the only jobs where you just don’t have the option to punch out and leave the job site. There’s no pause or rewind, just like time it keeps on ticking.
Since taking the course years ago, I was inspired to take it again for repetition is the mother of skill and now have become a facilitator of the 9 ways program to reach more parents to help the future be the best it can be. I started to see how using spanking was only creating respectable children that feared the physical discipline and not really respecting me as their mother. I didn’t like how I felt either nor the look in their eye, the crying and the emotional roller coaster ride during the after effects.
I won’t complain about my childhood for it’s created the essence of my being and now I truly understand that we can only do our best with what we know. Spanking was something that was done to me and so I started to repeat the cycle… I understand now that I am a chain breaker and my parenting is just one area where I can break a cycle…. Spanking is one of those links that I have broken and I am celebrating. I now feel there’s a deeper connection to my children and that they respect me because it’s their choice. This empowers me greatly as a human being not just a mother.
I truly believe that when we have the desire to learn more, we can do better and evolve from the past. Having this shift in my belief system has gifted me so many opportunities to grow as a human being, a woman, a mother of 4 and a wife.
Competition can inspire us to reach for higher levels and help to create a better version of ourselves, so when it comes to parenting, it’s not about competing with our parents but to be in a position to learn from our childhood experiences and see where we can influence changes to improve the future.
I love my parents deeply and understand that they did their best from what they learned and understood what it was to be a parent from the generations before them.
After making the video for Facebook the other night, I spent some time looking for other articles to back up my thoughts about what spanking does… here are a few links that I wanted to share with you that I found interesting. I am sure there are more articles for me to add as time goes, check them out and feel free to add in the comments below items you have on this topic.
Thank you for taking the time to consider this topic, to share with other parents that are on the fence on how to discipline their children. We get this opportunity to impact the future by doing our best as parents, remember we are in this together